MDMA at Raves, Demonic Attacks + Encountering Jesus.

It wasn’t until my teenage years I learned about the reality of a spiritual realm. I had believed in God my whole life, and as I was growing up I’d sit with my mum as she told me stories about her encounters with the Holy Spirit, seeing angels, spiritual warfare, and seeing God move in wonderful life changing ways. I was gripped by the true stories she would tell me. It stirred a great hunger for God in me..

As I went into teenage years I started to drift away from God due and it took me on a journey opened me up to another side of the spirit realm. I tried different things, taking drugs and Ouija boards were one of the ways I opened a door to something other than Jesus, living in a way God encouraged me not to and it welcomed a spiritual oppressive presence into my life. I felt like something dark was following me all the time.. and it wasn’t fun and games anymore. Nightimes were the worst. The fear of going to bed would paralyse me as I would experience demonic attacks and nightmares, I felt absolutely no peace, nothing nothing NOTHING would make it stop.

One weekend me and my friends went to a drum and bass festival. Yes, we intended to party hard and we managed to smuggle in enough MDMA for the weekend. After some pre drinks and some lines we went off to see a DJ play in one of the festival tents. As I was dancing to the music with my friends, I suddenly felt like I was in hell. Someone kept saying my name.. but it wasnt my friends and I didnt recognise the voice. I just knew it wasnt a good voice. As I was looking around, people’s faces turned into monsters faces. Do you remember that horror film hills have eyes? They looked like the deformed faces from that movie.

It dawned on me how far I had drifted from God. When I got home I felt rotten, and the comedown started! As I was in bed watching friends I felt an evil and terrifying presence next to me.

“Ignore it” I thought. “It’s just the comedown”.

Then walks in my dog.. and she started staring and growling at this spot next to me where I felt this presence coming from. That night I went on to have the most terrifying nightmares, I was so scared I was in floods of tears in the middle of the night.

The next day I looked into the mirror and saw that my eyes were grey with no sparkle in them anymore. I became aware of the fact ‘the party’ was no longer fun and I needed Jesus.. again. I went to the beach, sat on a rock and said:

“Jesus, I’m going to give it a go at putting you first in my life to see if it works”. And I guess that was it, my first step to following Christ.

This same week a friend from my home church got in touch and asked me to join their church youth internship as a leader. Despite my smoking habits and reckless choices.. they took a gamble on me! God was plucking me out of my environment and surrounding me with brilliant souls grounded in The Lord and a few months later I had the most powerful encounter with Jesus.

I was in my bedroom praying and for the first time the presence of God poured into my heart and soul in the most tangible way. Immediately brought to tears as the kindest, most gentle, pure love washed over me and my mess. I saw a vision of the cross - and despite having heard the gospel 1000 times in my life, this was the moment that it suddenly clicked that Christ died for me. I wept over the goodness of God. I thought He was angry with me, but it was Him revealing His goodness that brought me to repentance. All of these memories came through my mind that I had done wrong in the past, and I was so sorry to God.. because He is just so good - how could I have done that to someone like Him? My theology had been so wrong up until this point. When His presence lifted my heart was new! My life had been black and white and I left that room seeing in colour, Christ had my heart for real. The rest is history..

I learned that following Jesus isn’t about rules or being good enough for God or the church, it’s about meeting Him for real! Receiving forgiveness and truly walking with Him in relationship every single day

I always laugh at the thought of how it truly was the work of the devil that pushed me into the arms of Jesus. I think it’s pretty ironic, but seriously the reality of the spiritual realm brought me to Christ.

It was by the power of the Holy Spirit, I was set free internally.

I see how the enemy wanted to steal away my destiny – and how he also has a plan for our lives.. a plan to bring chaos and harm. Jesus however, comes to bring life in abundance. With Holy Spirit living inside of you, the devil doesn’t stand a chance. 

“The opposite of God is not the devil, the
opposite of the devil is the archangel Michael”
– Dawna De Silva

In Christ, we have total victory. I’m serious, when you turn on the light darkness has to go and that victorious light is within you.